6 Mar 2017

Unanswerable Questions For A Twenty Something

If you haven't seen all over my social media this week, I've just moved into my new flat which is great news! Since moving in I've been asking myself a load of questions about what I want to get out of my twenties, but I figured I don't actually have the answers. So what better way to try and find a solution than having a massive brain fart on the internet? This may seem like the ramblings of a maniac and that's not too far from the truth, but I'm hoping to give myself and hopefully yourselves a new perspective.

The most recent conundrum I've had is kind of relevant to me moving into a new place. Travel or settle? Clearly I've settled for the time being because I've shelled out a fuck load of money on rent and deposits for this new place so I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. But how cool would it be to be able to pack up and just work my way around the continents for 18 months or so? I think my thirst for travel has stemmed from my endless hours of scrolling Instagram where I see people in the most idyllic settings. I can be scrolling and see one person doing yoga in Bali and the next photo is someone at Shibuya Crossing in Japan. Add in the British weather and you've got a very jealous boy, sat in a flat watching old reruns of QI.
However, what do the people who travel do when they finally come home? Unless they're blessed to have a bit of money/property already then the likelihood is that they don't have their own place to live. Personally I couldn't imagine anything worse than travelling the world, making friends all over the world then having to move back home. Can you imagine that?

That leads me onto the next question which is work or play? Personally I've chosen to work option in recent years and I don't 'play' very often. My social life is almost non existent (my own doing) and a lot of my free time is spent sitting in coffee shops or writing blog posts. Whichever of the options you choose, you're losing out in one way or another. Like I said, I've chosen work and my social life has definitely been affected. Since I've become more of a recluse though I've definitely progressed in the world of work. I escaped the reins of retail and I'm now in a job which I enjoy.
Obviously there is the option to strike a perfect balance but that's something I kind of struggle with.
If you play more does that leave less time for work? As I can't speak from experience I can only assume the answer is yes. For example if I go out on the piss then I'm inactive for at least two days and I value my free time quite a lot. I often think of better and more productive things to be doing than wasting away in bed so this is why I don't go out very often.

With my lack of social life it strikes up the question play the field or relationship? Luckily for me the answer is out of my power because I don't know any girls (ha) but it is a question that most people have to ask themselves. We're constantly told that playing the field is the best thing for people in their twenties because we're free, we don't have too many responsibilities and now is the only time we can do it. Obviously that's the idea of the type of people who also believe you should be married and have a house with a garden by the time you're 30. As well it's much easier to play the field these days because dating and finding people has never been easier. The likes of Tinder have made it possible to find new people with a literal swipe of a finger!
I do think apps like Tinder also bring problems to peoples approach to dating & relationships, though. We seem to be in the middle of a culture that finds it difficult to settle down in relationships because there's so much choice for us. It is also fuel for peoples ego as it's a tool that allows you to hook up with people without actually hooking up, if that makes sense? You can match with people just so you can get the verification of being liked.

As you can tell I'm not an expert on relationships or dating but I have had experiences of both in the past and to be honest, neither is perfect. They both have pros and cons which can be said for all of the questions I've asked in this post! I'd love to hear your thoughts on these questions or any other struggles you've had in your twenties!